“I really admire that young woman for how strong she was.” Vanessa Atler Revisits Her Gymnastics Journey In Upcoming Memoir

Vanessa Atler shared the following excerpt from her upcoming memoir with Inside Gymnastics on May 23, 2025.

“All I wanted to do was fast forward through time, and immediately, I popped to my feet. Instinctively, after what could have been a catastrophic injury, I stood up, smiled, and saluted the judges. I walked away from the beam, trying to register the enormity of what had just happened. As I made my way back to my coach, Bela stopped me. I looked up at his large frame, which towered over me, and he placed both his hands on my shoulders. “Are you okay?’’ he asked in his thick Romanian accent.

 “Yeah,” I nodded, still trying to catch my breath.

Bela placed his hand gently on my cheek and pulled me into him as the television cameras zoomed in for a close-up. I leaned into his grasp. Somewhere along the line, that had become the unspoken agreement when it came to USA Gymnastics. They would pretend to care, and, in turn, I would act as if everything was fine. We were both upholding our end of the contract. But in that moment, I was certain of two things. I had just narrowly averted a serious injury, and I hadn’t been okay in a very long time.” 

Finding Strength In Courage

Former United States star Vanessa Atler recently shared the news gymnastics fans around the world have been waiting to hear. 

In a May 3 social media post, Atler wrote: “Hey everyone! I am so excited to say I’ve just finished writing a book with the wonderful Beth Fehr! It’s been an incredible journey working together. And I will tell you it has been a trip going back in time and remembering every detail of those intense, emotional times in my life. And as much as you think you are healed from the past, revisiting is always another release that you didn’t know you needed and I’m so excited to share it!”

Writing the book has been quite a ride for Atler, who spoke in-depth with Inside Gymnastics magazine on May 19, telling us, “If you really want to know my story, it’s all truth in there, and honesty of what I went through.”

First speaking out candidly to GymCastic in a 2017 podcast episode, Atler shared much of her story then, including how she faced a series of injuries and surgery, a gym change, questionable decisions made by some of the adults surrounding her, her struggles with confidence, and trying to figure out just whose dream she was chasing. The podcast provided her an outlet and the opportunity to share her truth, putting to rest many of the questions surrounding her career.

The book offers an even closer look, including what she experienced in the lead-up and what took place at the 2000 Olympic Trials. It’s a continuation of her journey of discovering herself outside of the gym and what means the most to her now. Beyond the challenges and chalk dust, she spoke to us about the intense healing process that has allowed her to find joy in her life today, including being a wife, mom, and gymnastics coach.

“It starts with my family and growing up and starting gymnastics at five and a half years old,” she said. “It’s the whole journey of my first competition to switching gyms and meeting Jamie Dantzscher, becoming friends, and the journey at that gym and how I moved over to Gliders. And then the whole experience of the Elite world and very major competitions. I talk about the feelings that I had when I was up on the equipment and before, and then really delve into that last year of having ankle surgery, switching [to WOGA], and working with Valeri (Liukin), the experiences that I had with Beth and Steve [Rybacki] and USA Gymnastics. Talking about all of Olympic Trials and all of those feelings.”

Leading up to the 2000 Olympic Games in Sydney, Australia, Atler was one of the frontrunners to make the U.S. team. A stunningly brilliant gymnast who could soar into the stratosphere on vault, and tumble and leap on floor and beam better than almost anyone in the world, Atler shot to stardom almost overnight. She won the 1996 Junior National All-Around title and captured the senior title (sharing it with Kristy Powell) one year later. 

Quickly dubbed the next “One” by the media and the fans—the one who would lead Team USA right back to gold following the Magnificent 7’s gold rush in Atlanta—Atler’s path to the Games seemed scripted for her at times, and often before she even stepped foot on the floor. Everyone was hungry for a new star, and Atler fit the bill perfectly. 

An athlete who could display both sheer power and a true performance quality, Atler captured gold on floor and vault at the 1998 Goodwill Games, with all signs pointing to a strong run for Sydney. She was the first woman to compete the layout Rudi (forward salto one and a half) on vault at a major international competition, which she performed at the 1999 American Cup. With an incredible arsenal of skills across the board, her double layout+punch front+double stag combo on floor was truly breaktaking every time she performed it, and a clear crowd-favorite.

Beyond her success in competition, Atler also captivated our hearts early on with her engaging personality. Bright, funny, and genuine, she was a joy to interview as she set out on her quest to the Olympic Games, even keeping an online diary (remember the butterflies?), engaging her fans and giving us all a glimpse into her life inside the gym and out. It was refreshing, and further endeared her to all of us.

But Vanessa Atler’s gymnastics journey was anything but easy.

As strong as she was on three events, Atler struggled with confidence and consistency on uneven bars during competition. Injuries, as well as the mental exhaustion of living up to such lofty expectations also began to take their toll halfway through the quad. Because of it, the narrative gradually shifted. It seemed that in every competition she entered, what she would do on bars became its own storyline. 

Still, she pushed on, chasing her Olympic dream, determined to live up to the expectations she placed on herself and by those around her. After a disappointing 1999 World Championships, Atler started the Olympic season strong. She won the All–Around at the 2000 U.S. Classic, and went on to place 4th at the 2000 U.S. Championships. But following a rough go at the Olympic Trials, where she placed 6th, Atler was ultimately left off the team in a highly controversial selection process. 

Reliving that moment, along with so many others, was part of Atler’s process of writing the book. The moments when she should have been allowed the space to regroup privately were the ones where she saw herself on screen over and over, unable to escape the spotlight. She points to the live 2000 Olympic Trials team selection announcement, which she found cruel.

“It was like they had already known or had a pretty close idea that I wasn’t going to make it,” she said. “I think that was what was hard. Knowing that and then still naming the entire team and zooming in on my face, and not the people that made it, was really just a cruel thing to do.

“I was so upset that I just said, ‘I don’t want to give them my tears.’ After the second day, I’d already been told that I wasn’t going to make it. Sitting there knowing that you’re not going to make it and thinking, ‘I’m just done. I’m over it. And I’m not going to cry for you guys.’”

The disappointment (and sometimes private relief) of not being named to the 2000 Olympic team left Atler on the outside looking in. She was left to face the next chapter in her life alone, she felt, while craving the support of the adults around her to get her through. 

“I think the hard part about gymnastics as a whole, is when you are done, there’s no one there anymore,” she said.

Strength, courage, and the fortitude that often comes with such public disappointment, along with a lot of therapy, helped propel her forward when she was finally ready. It’s something she also addresses in the book. 

“There are a couple of chapters of just how I got from there to where I am today,” she said. “We talked about Starting Over, the reality show that I was on, because I think I also wanted it to show people that sometimes things just don’t work out the way we think they are going to, and that’s okay.

“I think you have to do the work and really go to therapy and really search within yourself to heal. Everybody’s on their different journeys. I just want people to be able to read it and go, ‘I might not be there yet, but I know there’s hope that I can get there.’”

Working closely with Fehr, a gymnastics fan turned author who reached out to her about telling her story, Atler immediately found comfort in the partnership. “She was really easy to talk to,” Atler said. “She was like a friend. I think a lot of times you can run into people that will try to write something for you, and it doesn’t feel like you, or they want to go a different route. I wanted to tell my story. It was just a journey for me and her. She felt the same way where it was, ‘I just want to do this for you.’”

What Atler hopes fans and current and former athletes get from the book in many ways is discovering their strength in their own journey, no matter the outcome. Watching both the joyful and challenging moments back, Atler noted, “I was really able to give myself a pat on the back for getting through that and ending up where I am today. I really admire that young woman for how strong she was.”

Here’s more of our conversation with Atler, who said the book was complete and edited when we spoke, with an official release date and title pending–they are searching for an agent and/or publisher for the project. She was wonderfully engaging and open as always, and so excited and grateful for the support of her fans as she prepared the book for launch. “Stay tuned!” she said.

Plus! Keep an eye on her social media @vanessaatler for upcoming announcements about the book and maybe a few surprises along the way, because guess what? She can still do a pretty mean wolf jump! 

Let’s start with your wish to write this book. When did you decide that you were ready to take the journey?

After my gymnastics career and being on Starting Over, I’ve always had people say, ‘Hey, you should write a book.’ When I went on the GymCastic podcast and told my story there, I always just felt, ‘I think I’ve told my story. I think people already know.’ But, I also always just thought one day I would love to write a book, just to finish it. I did my children’s books and I think just for me, [writing this book] would feel like something I had finished, something I accomplished. I’m always working on finishing things!

Beth Fehr messaged me on Instagram after a post I made, and then she started looking me up and saw me on Starting Over. She reached out and said, ‘I just wanted to say, I knew you as a kid. I would watch you on TV. I was a gymnast, and I loved watching you.’ She gave some great compliments and thanked me for inspiring her, which meant so much to me. I responded and thanked her, and then the next day, she told me she was an author and had written a book about Olympic swimmer Elizabeth Beisel. She told me if I ever wanted to tell my story, she would love to write it for me.

After I turned 40 [I was just in the space] of just saying yes to everything and not being afraid. There’s so many things that I have done on this journey and going through therapy, and I just said, ‘Let’s do it.’ 

You have incredibly devoted fans around the world who are so excited about this book! Writing it, are you, in some ways, possibly also speaking to those athletes who maybe aren’t ready to talk about their own journey yet, but maybe in a few years will be?

I think there’s a bunch of different people. Definitely, one is those athletes that feel like in some ways, their gymnastics career was taken over by other people and other decisions that were made. I see athletes now or people in those different journeys in different places in their lives that I’ve already gone through. There are moments of anger, and I see a lot of athletes who are angry. 

Starting Over helped me get through that so much. I’m speaking to a lot of former athletes that had an identity in any sport whatsoever and being able to get out of that and find something new for them. Also, the general public. There are people that didn’t follow my gymnastics career, but maybe knew me from the Reese’s commercial and knew about that little blonde girl, and asked, ‘What happened to her?’ I think it can really reach out to a lot of people because it’s very relatable. 

When we’re younger, we have dreams–-dreams of who we’re going to be and what we’re going to become, and we work really hard for that, and it doesn’t go in that direction. We hear so many of the success stories, and it’s hard to relate to that sometimes. I’m just a normal person, just a mom of two kids who’s coaching now, and I have joy in that.

Revisiting your career, did you discover or recall stories that you hadn’t thought about for a while in a positive way? Or, things that surprised you most when you looked back?

The biggest thing that I didn’t realize, which sounds funny, probably to people, is how many times I fell on my bar routine. I always think of the big ones, like Championships, but man, I fell so many times! I had to go back and watch all of these competitions. I’m just so sad for that girl. I feel like it’s somebody different to see how difficult it was to go through that in front of a lot of people, and just feeling like I was failing over and over and over again. It was really, really hard to watch. That was a really impactful thing for me. For someone so young to have to deal with that in front of a large audience, that was one of the big things I took out of it.

There are emotional moments that I remember with my family that a lot of people may not know about. Just the experience that I had with my brother going through all of this and some moments with my family after what happened after Olympic Trials. When I was talking with Beth (Fehr) about it, it was hard for me to go through Zooms without crying when we reached those moments, because those were things I hadn’t unpacked yet. I was surprised that it brought emotion and that I was really, I guess, affected by some of the things that I talk about in the book.

But, it was also really fun. Going back and looking at my friendship with Jamie was fun to look back at, like the little things that we did when we would go to sleepovers and stuff like that together. We had a lot of good times together.

Your struggle on bars was a through line during your career, but I also remember your routine on day 2 at Championships in 1998. You hit that routine, and it was a huge, emotional moment inside the arena. Were there moments like that that did bring you joy, either in the moment or looking back now?

I will admit over the years, I always watched YouTube videos of myself. It’s fun to see that stuff. I’ve watched that bar routine many, many times. I’ll be honest, there weren’t a lot of new joyful moments because I’ve already watched it so much. What I got the most out of it was just how strong I was and sometimes how good I was. Sometimes, it was like, ‘Wow, I really was good. I really was talented.’

Watching the hard parts was the most enlightening part because I would always tend to not watch that stuff. Who wants to watch yourself not do well in competitions? It was hard to watch, but I’m really proud of myself for was being able to go through those moments at the age I was.

I’m sure you wrestle with going through that to get to where you are today. And I’m sure you’ve asked yourself those ‘what if?’ questions a million times to get to that point where, like you said, you allowed yourself to feel proud of what you did.

I’m not a person who thinks everything happens for a reason, but I am big on life lessons. I know for a fact that I would not be as strong as I am today because of it. I probably wouldn’t have met my husband. I wouldn’t have the children that I have today. I’m happy now, and I love where I’m at in my life, and I know I wouldn’t be that person. Who knows who I would have been if I would have made it? I definitely like who I am today.

During Olympic Trials, when NBC was zooming in on your face during the team announcement, and you didn’t make the team, what did you need most in that moment to help you? What could someone have said to you to make the moment possibly, and eventually the transition out of gymnastics, easier for you? 

The major people would be the adults. I got more support from the athletes and hugs from them. I think the adults maybe felt guilty and tried to avoid me as much as possible.

There were a couple of hugs here and there, but they were very short and there were no words of encouragement. I needed my coaches, Valeri at the time, even Beth and Steve at the time. I think my parents didn’t know what to say, and obviously said, ‘I love you and it’s okay’ and stuff. But I guess it’s just hearing, ‘We’re proud of you, and you did everything that you could, and I’m so sorry that this happened.’

My first hug was from Jeanette Antolin, I think. And her not making the Olympics, too, she understood me and felt what I felt.

You just need adults. I think that was the hardest part was that they were all gone. I think maybe they just didn’t know what to say. And a lot of us do that. When we don’t know what to say, we just avoid it. It was a lot of moments of feeling alone. 

When I talk to former athletes, one of the things they often mention is that they weren’t given the tools, or perhaps didn’t realize they had them, to transition out of the sport. Do you feel like if you had been given true support in that moment, the journey towards healing would have happened sooner for you?

The hard part is all of these experiences that we have are all different as far as what the Olympians go through, is different than what I went through, or the ones that didn’t make it. It’s hard to exactly know those tools, but I think the best thing is being present for them. We need to be here for these athletes, the ones that are not making it, and let them know that we do care about them, that we don’t just care about medals and making the team. 

How much do you watch the Elites or NCAA competitions now?

Oh, all the time! It took me probably eight years, an eight-year gap from 2000 to 2008, and then I could watch a little bit of the Olympics. I heard Carly Patterson won, and then maybe I watched a little bit, but I wasn’t really into it. Of course, I knew Nastia (Liukin) when she was little, so I started watching her. I loved Shawn Johnson. I became a huge fan when I watched Aly Raisman. I’m more of a fan now than I ever have been. 

I just love that you get to know these athletes way more than you used to be able to. I had that online diary. It was finally a way for people to really get to know you. Now, it’s so great because I get to watch Jordan Chiles, or whoever, do their TikTok, and it’s awesome because when they go out there and compete, you really feel a lot more connected to them. 

I’ve always been a big fan of sports, in general, anyway. I can cry at the drop of a hat when someone’s winning something. I was the first person jumping up and down for Stephen (Nedoroscik) on pommel house. I was just so excited! That’s why I love sports so much. It really creates a lot of emotion when you feel connected with everybody cheering on a person.

Do you think the group of women you see competing now are overall, a healthier group than when you competed? Again, knowing everyone’s individual story and journey looks different, and we don’t see everything everyone goes through. We do see athletes speaking out more about their mental health than ever before… But I wanted to get your take on that.

Well, I think, like you said, I don’t really know all of the things. There are different things that come with NIL and being able to take money ahead of time. I have no idea what that feels like. 

When the women were able to finally come out about Larry Nassar, it just opened up the doors for all of the athletes, really, to not be afraid anymore and that we have a lot of power. I think that was probably one of the biggest moments that changed gymnastics was those amazing athletes coming out and not being afraid to say something. I’m hoping that part really feels empowering and has helped them. 

I also think there are a lot more eyes on them than ever before with social media, and that comes with a whole other set of pressures. You have to be so much more careful than before. This is when we’re teenagers and we make mistakes and we say things, and they’re getting judged a lot more than we ever did when we were in gymnastics. 

I think there are a lot of good things that have grown from gymnastics. We have a lot more knowledgeable coaches about mental health. We know so much more about injuries. I love that, and I think that’s better. But when change happens, there’s also new stuff that goes on that we don’t understand. I’m sure we’ll hear about it later when they’re 40, about what they had to deal with. You have to speak up. It’s the only way we can change things. It doesn’t mean everything will be perfect and go away. There’s always going to be a new set of problems, but if we don’t talk about it, we can’t fix it. I encourage everybody. It’s not people complaining or being bitter. It’s just being aware so we can make changes for our younger athletes coming up.

I will say, I feel like if you look back at the early ’90s, nobody ever smiled, ever. There was no smiling or dancing. I do think our generation, or ‘96 and up, me, Jamie, and Elise Ray, and Kristin Maloney, we were just a little bit more open and able to be a little bit more goofy. I think it’s just gotten better with that. I’m happy to see them happy. The thing we have to remember is just because we see that, it doesn’t mean that’s how they’re feeling. And we all know that about social media. What we post isn’t exactly what’s going on.

Now you’re coaching, loving being a mom, and just loving this season of life. Tell me a little bit more about what you’re up to!

Writing this book, I went back and looked at old school stuff and things  where I talked about what I want to be when I grow up. Literally, in a newspaper article, I said I wanted to be a mom with two kids, a boy and a girl! My biggest love is just being a mom. I love them, and I love hanging out with them. They’re awesome and cool, and I could brag about them for days. Being a coach, it’s doubly like being a mom. It’s two roles that really take on being able to mentor somebody. I like being protective over them. Most of all, I really like the mental health part more than the gymnastics part. I think some people, if they watch me coach, would say, ‘Are you going to teach them any gymnastics skills?’ If I see a teenager is having a hard day, we talk about it.

I don’t care if I miss 30 minutes of bar practice, especially bar practice (laughs)! I would rather help them with that and tell them that they need to be nice to themselves. Those are my favorite moments with the kids. I love using the things I’ve learned as an adult about healing and being kind to yourself and self-care, all of those things I love. That’s why I like being a coach.

If your children read the book, what do you most want them to understand or know?

That it’s okay to fail, and you’re going to. You’re going to go through hard times in sports. Don’t be afraid of getting out there and putting yourself out there because you’re going to have really, really hard moments. One of the best things in life is learning that you’ll be okay and you can get through it. 

I think sometimes as parents, we try so hard to protect our kids from that stuff, and it’s probably the worst thing that we can do for them. We need to be there for them. I think protecting or shielding them from hard losses or anything that makes them upset, is just probably not great for them. I want my kids to be resilient but be able to express their emotions. [My daughter] did level 2 and said, ‘I didn’t get first once.’ I told her that was alright and asked how it made her feel. She said, ‘I’m kind of jealous.’ I told her, ‘That’s a normal emotion. That’s good. We all have that.’ 

When I was her age, I was winning everything. I didn’t even know what losing was. It was so much harder to lose after that because I just felt horrible. She’s learning to lose, and now she says, ‘I like doing gymnastics. It’s fun.’ That’s what I want.

You’re still very well remembered for your strength, courage, and everything you accomplished as an athlete. In a letter to your younger self, what do you want to say to 10-year-old Vanessa? Or maybe Vanessa at the Olympic Trials?’

I think a big thing is that you’re not alone. I wish I had known that when I was younger, and that things are going to turn out okay. The biggest thing I wish I could have said to myself when I was competing was, ‘I’m just in awe of you and so proud of you. You’re much stronger and smarter than any of these people that are out there. You’re going to turn out okay, and you’re going to be happy and you’re going to have the best fans in the world. I think you’re going to have two wonderful children that love you.’ 

All of that love I needed, I get from my husband and my two kids. I think they’re the reason. They really have healed me in so many ways because I get so much love from them that I just really needed that as a kid. They still love me no matter what, and they tell me that every day. 

Was the book also a letter to your younger self in any way?

Going through this book, I saw my numbness at Trials. I think it was a survival thing, but it wasn’t great for me because it took a long time for me to turn that back on. Starting Over was one of the first steps in the process. It’s okay to still be sad.

I think athletes need to know it’s great to be tough. It’s one of the best things about us. We can get through things, we can push through things, and we can suck it up when we need to because we have to go to that next event. But don’t make that your process of dealing with stuff. I mean, Simone Biles, she’s going through therapy during that whole process. It was probably one of the best things she could have ever done for herself. I’m so glad that she talks about it because we usually tend to do things way after it’s all over. And she was smart enough to know, I need this to get through this. I love that about her.

Are you nervous about releasing the book?

Beth and I have decided we’re going to do this for us and enjoy the process. We just really did enjoy the process. That’s one of the best things that came out of it. We’re happy and we’ve done a good job. We are proud of it.

Interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.

Photos by Lloyd Smith for Inside Gymnastics magazine.

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