In 9 Lives By 35, rhythmic gymnast Mary Sanders brings faith to the forefront

By Christy Sandmaier

During the 2004 T.J. Maxx Tour of Champions United States’ rhythmic gymnast Mary Sanders performed a stunning routine to Coldplay’s Clocks. Beautifully incorporating both the ribbon and the hoop, the number had an emotional, almost ethereal, yet powerful quality to it. It was as if she was not only telling the story of her journey so far but foreshadowing a life yet to come. It struck me then and it brought me to tears today. 

Interviewing Sanders about her memoir, 9 Lives By 35, I once again found myself caught up not only in her story but the extraordinary path she’s taken since her Olympic career to reach for each new dream and rise above each new obstacle. From child gymnast to writer, actor and producer, each chapter of the book – sparked in part by 2004 Canadian Olympic gold medalist on floor Kyle Shewfelt – represents one part of Sanders’ life. Each concludes with what she learned through her own designated three Rs: reason, reinvent, right. I was immediately captivated.

At just 8-years-old, Sanders, a dual citizen of Canada and the United States, was mourning the loss of her father, Fred. It was Fred, a U.S. gymnast and Big Ten champion at the University of Michigan, who ignited and encouraged the Olympic dream from the outset, believing that one day Mary would compete in the Olympic Games. Her love for the sport combined with the inspiration instilled from her father drove her passion and fueled a fire she would constantly strive to achieve. At the age of 10, recognizing her own limits in artistic gymnastics but more importantly embracing her passion for dance and performing, Sanders transitioned from artistic to rhythmic gymnastics in Canada and started over nearly from scratch. One thing remained – her Olympic dream. By the age of 14, despite growing success in competition including winning gold at the 1999 Ontario Junior Championships, Sanders writes she wasn’t happy and wondered if it was all worth it. She stepped away from the sport briefly, even dipping her toe into the world of synchronized swimming, and inside the ballet studio with a pair of pointe shoes. 

Ultimately, it was her faith and family – a common thread throughout the book and Sanders’ life – that brought her back to rhythmic gymnastics with a newfound resolve to achieve her (and her father’s) dream. She writes “… where faith led me was back to the rhythmic gymnastics carpet. This time, I made a pledge to myself that I would see it through to the end, praying and wishing that the end of the rainbow was made from Olympic rings.”

It was the turning point for Sanders. And little did she know at that moment, just how much the trajectory of her career (and life) would change.

In 2002, upon receiving an invitation from the USA Gymnastics Rhythmic Program, Sanders made the decision to switch countries and compete internationally for the United States. That same year she won the U.S. Championships, ultimately paving her path towards Athens. While she was completely at peace with her decision – “I was so happy, and nothing ever felt more right in my life. Everything I had accomplished, all the struggles and sacrifices, led me to this moment. Being supported by an entire nation and following in my father’s footsteps leading up to the Olympics was exactly where I was meant to be” – the change was difficult personally at times.

Homesickness, tough training, and estrangement from her former Canadian teammates left her feeling hurt and confused. Choosing once again to rise above her inner turmoil, she proudly donned the red, white and blue all the way to Athens for Team USA. She placed 15th in the Qualifying round at the Games and missed out on the Finals – a disappointment in a way due in part to the challenges in judged sports and inside the rhythmic arena at that time, she said. Still, she was an Olympian and as she writes, it was, “a beautiful conclusion to her third life.”

With the Olympic torch extinguished and the tour wrapped, Cirque came calling. It eased the transition a bit from the Olympic stage to the performance stage, though she would face many more years of self-discovery and reinvention to follow. When the curtain came down on her time touring with Corteo and Delirium, Sanders sometimes found herself seated behind a desk wondering why she was there. Soon, a new phase of life began to take shape behind the scenes in the entertainment industry, including coming full circle as the co-creative director, choreographer, and performer for the 2012 and 2016 USA Gymnastics Tour of Champions, and today, in front of the camera and behind the scenes in large productions for TV and film.

Enveloped within all of her triumphs and setbacks, Sanders’ story is one of strong faith and fortitude, often derived from her mother, Jaci, and guided by her own belief in God. It’s the same faith, together with pure determination, that drove the book itself. And with reinvention at its core, Sanders’ wish for the book is that it sends a message of hope and resilience to those looking to make that next big step in their career, on or off the competition floor.

“I think athletes or women in general, we live a lot of different stages and a lot of different lives, and I think it’s a good way to look at our lives,” she said. “We can close a chapter and move on. We’re not just one accomplishment. We’re not just mothers. We’re not just a wife or what have you. So, I hope [the book is] motivating. And it was difficult to write, obviously being quite vulnerable and telling a lot of stories that no one’s ever heard before, but I hope that really resonates.”

Sanders writes openly about the harsh realities of training and unhealthy habits in the nineteen nineties but also acknowledges that in her own story, the mental and physical toughness she achieved through adversity also played a decidedly significant role in her quick success. It was a balance and way of life that certainly isn’t for everyone, she said, but one she believes was instrumental in her athletic success and getting her to where she is today.

“My father actually instilled in me, when the going gets tough, the tough get going,” she said. “There’s no complaining, there’s no crying. It’s kind of the generation I lived in. Although I don’t know if I would have made the Olympics if I was a rhythmic gymnast today, I think timing is everything, and I think I had to be pushed in a very certain way. I was an artistic gymnast until I was 10-years-old, and then I switched to rhythmic very late. So perhaps if I didn’t have the strict coaching and that mentality, maybe I wouldn’t have made it in such a short amount of time.”

Today, with author added to her already decorated resume, Sanders remains intensely focused on empowering athletes and young professionals to find themselves, their passion, and their direction. It gives her reason and purpose every day, she said. “I just hope it motivates women or anyone coming off the highest level of their sport, whether it’s the Olympics or not, to really have faith in yourself, push yourself.”

Our conversation was easy and reflective of the book – simultaneously filled with joy and vulnerability, with underlying optimism and inspiration at every turn. What’s waiting for Sanders now is her 10th life. And she’s never been more excited to get started. 

First, I would love to know about the progression of writing the book and the evolution of the title. How did it all play out for you?

It’s funny, I didn’t even know I wanted to write a book until right in the start of the pandemic, really. I think in my life, I’ve lived a lot of different lives, a lot of different stages, and I’ve met people from certain periods of my life, but they don’t know the full story of my life and how I got here. I know people know me from gymnastics – from the Olympics – or they know me from Cirque du Soleil or from the entertainment world. So it really hit me to write this book – I had two kids during the pandemic and I thought, ‘you know, I think it’s time if they’re going to really understand their mother and who I am.’ I wanted to show the world who I am. Mary Sanders, as a whole, that’s kind of the reason why I wrote it.

The title came almost in the beginning, actually, because I was trying to figure out how am I going to fit all these lives in one book? How is it going to make sense? It’s going to jump around and be the most random thing ever (laughs)! But, it really just came to me, and I was so glad when I got a publishing deal that they stuck with the title, because that can change a lot.

As you know, you’re not never supposed to get married to the title, so I’m just so glad it stuck and I came up with it. So that’s very special, and I think it sums up the book quite well. 

In allowing yourself to be so vulnerable, were there moments or certain stories in the book you maybe hesitated to include? You mentioned earlier you thought, ‘what are my children going to think when they read this later on?’

I absolutely went through a lot of hesitation when it came to my upbringing and my mother’s multiple marriages and sort of the abuse we went through as kids. I think the gymnastics mentality is we’re tough, we’re strong, and we can get through anything. I went through a lot as I was a competitive gymnast. As I was trying to go to the Olympics, I went through a lot that no one really knew about. I think I had blocked out a lot of the memories, so I had to sit down a lot with my mom and really rehash a lot of that. And it was super emotional. But I think a lot of those stories are what made me work harder and get to the Olympics. I think we all have our story of why we’re working so hard to achieve our goals, and I think that’s a part of it. And, yes, there’s a lot of emotional factors that I went through later on in life, my divorce and things like that. So it was really hard. I would say the first version of my book was pretty surface level. Who wants to read about everything being all roses, right?

I really had to peel back the layers, and I had to remember things that I had buried and I had totally forgotten about. Of course, training, the rigorous hours and things like that and everything kind of a gymnast had to go through to get to the top. It was hard to peel back the layers and get to the bottom of it, but I think that’s what makes the book so vulnerable.

For everyone watching from the stands or on TV – it can all look so glamorous. A lot of people see you on the floor and still just think, ‘oh, they’re at the Olympics. They must have this amazing, perfect life.’ From reading the book, it seems to me you led a very stereotypical ’90s gymnast’s life. Everything was about overtraining and hyper-focused on weight and unhealthy habits that were accepted and hidden. I’m curious if you knew at the time that the training was unhealthy and that it was something you’d want to talk about later… 

Absolutely. I look at gymnastics today and I’m jealous. I wish I could be a gymnast today! I just feel like it’s so much more positive. It’s very athlete-focused. Mental health comes first. I wish I could kind of make a comeback, I guess, but that will never happen! I definitely lived a hard journey, and I lived kind of the old school way. Weight was everything. Crazy hours, injuries didn’t matter. You push through the pain, I say in the book. 

I literally switched disciplines and made the Olympics in nine years. So, I try not to look back and think about the harsh times. I love hearing stories of Olympians because they’re all unique, and everyone has been through a lot to get to that point in their life. It’s another reason why I wrote the book. I wanted to talk about what happens after the Olympics. And that’s not all roses, either, like getting back on your feet and figuring out who you are beyond your sport. It was important for me to write the book as a rhythmic Olympian, not winning the gold, [asking] what happens next? There’s other goals in life to achieve rather than being top of your sport.

I was watching your performance to Clocks on the 2004 tour, which is one of my favorites, and such an emotional song. If you could put yourself back into that moment after the 2004 Olympics, on that tour, were there thoughts about continuing to perform, no matter the venue? And is that what led you right into Cirque…

Absolutely. My whole gymnastics career, I just wanted to be normal. I couldn’t wait to go to the Olympics, get that over with, tick that box, have that title and just go to university and be normal. So I was supposed to go to university after the Olympics, live with my best friend, get a bachelor of arts, because I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was accepted into a university, then I went on the USA Gymnastics tour. At that time of my life, it was just an incredible experience. I always loved the performing part of competing. I talk about it in my book that I actually didn’t like competing. I was very nervous. I found it very difficult. I was known as a consistent gymnast, but competing was not fun for me. I dreaded it. I loved the performing part of my routine. So being on tour, performing to Clocks from Coldplay – I think it was the full song, like four minutes – to give me, a rhythmic gymnast, the opportunity to have a solo routine for four minutes on a tour with these exceptional Olympic champions, Carly Patterson, everyone, was everything.

I mean, what an opportunity that was! And I love that song. It always plays a special part of my heart. Performing every night on that tour was the best time of my life, and it changed my life. Little did I know Cirque du Soleil was watching me at the Olympics. They were watching me on tour, and then they brought me to Vegas, and I was like, ‘where do I sign?’ 

I was very fortunate as an athlete to have that transition into working society, but still doing what I’m good at, using my body and performing every night, getting that adrenaline. I wasn’t coming off the Olympic stage cold turkey into reality. I was able to make a transition into Cirque. Eventually, I was studying public relations and got to ease into the working world.

Do you think that it would have benefited you at that time to have someone mentor and help guide you through your time transitioning away from the sport?

Oh, definitely. It plays such a huge part in your mental stability. If I didn’t go to Cirque du Soleil after the Olympics, I don’t know where my life would have ended up because there would have always been this void of not really fulfilling my performance desire, being on stage, getting an education. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with my life. It’s too cold turkey. Nowadays I see the athletes, there’s social media, there’s endorsements, there’s lots of opportunity. Back in my day, there wasn’t so much. I saw a lot of athletes, unfortunately, who experienced that cold turkey in a really hard way. It made me really sad and I felt guilty for a lot of years. Here I am on tour, having the best time of my life, performing every night, making a living. But not every athlete got that opportunity. That’s a big reason why I wrote my book – to be a bit of a role model to athletes, maybe that don’t have the endorsements, don’t have a big social media following, maybe didn’t win the gold, but encourage them to know they can achieve other things in life. 

There’s so much more than being top of your sport and gold in the Olympics. That’s an amazing achievement, but we’re so much more than that. 

One of the other things that I really, really like are the three Rs that end each chapter. What went into that thought process? Do you think it was more for you or for the reader?

A little bit of both. I wanted to write a memoir, but not just have it be all about me, this is my story. I wanted the book to be helpful to whoever’s reading it. I wanted to sum up every chapter of why I did something or how I changed my path. I wanted to just reiterate at the end of each chapter, the reason. What was my reason in this life, to get out of bed every day? And then, how did I reinvent my life? That’s something I’m constantly doing, and I have to catch myself to calm down and sometimes not do too many things at once.

That’s what really gives me a reason and a purpose, is to reinvent and challenge myself. I like to look back on how I did reinvent myself in that life, switching from artistic to rhythmic. Big challenge, big change, big. It could have gone very badly. I like to look back on how I reason, reinvent, and then find the confidence – having the right to make those decisions, and that’s something I really struggled with. Only recently did I find the confidence in myself to tell my story to know I can go for that goal.

I feel like that’s a really good message because, again, going back to people who are watching you in an Olympic Games or seeing what you’re doing in a Cirque show, thinking,  ‘oh, she’s got to be the most confident woman there is to be able to do what she’s doing.’ But I think that’s an important message for people to hear that it took much longer for you to feel completely like yourself and be that confident.

Not until the last few years. I went through a big identity change and loss when I was having kids, and I’ve always been someone on the road, someone very busy, very career-oriented. Having kids was a major culture shock for me. So I went through a lot of reflecting during that time, and then I was really reflecting on what I enjoy doing. I love creating. I love being artistic, so I really just dove down that path. That’s what helped me build up my confidence – really figuring out who I was and what I enjoy doing, what gives me purpose. I think as gymnasts, we are conditioned a certain way. That’s our identity. And in Cirque, I had makeup on. I was on stage. I was doing what someone else told me to do, someone else choreographed. It’s not my show. It’s not me. I’m on stage, but I’m behind all this makeup. In life, I was going through many different career paths, desk jobs, trying to really figure out what I wanted to do.

Hopefully in our lives, a light bulb goes off, and it’s like, this is what I’m supposed to be doing. I have such confidence in this. 

So now that the book is complete, where would you like to take your story next?

Next life, next goal? Yes. It’s funny. I struggle with whether I talk about it or not. But when I was younger, actually, I think it was 2003, 2004, I was featured in the Vanity Fair Olympic issue, and I thought maybe one day I’ll go to Cirque du Soleil. And they printed that in the interview, and then I went to Cirque. So I talked about it then and it happened! So, maybe if I talk about my next life, my next goal now, it’ll happen! I’m working on a few really fun projects right now, doing a bit of public speaking. I am mentoring a of couple athletes, even athletes from my day who are my age now, making career transitions. I’d like to try and help people and help them get to their next potential in life as well. I’ve started doing a bit of songwriting because I really enjoy writing. It’s just this crazy passion of mine. I’ve always been an artistic person, so I’m doing a lot of writing, writing scripts, writing music, just writing a lot.

So that’s kind of a different 10th life I’m going into. It’s an industry I’ve never worked in before. I’ve done a bit of acting and things on tv, but I’ve never done the singer-songwriter route, so I’m diving a little bit into that now, and I hope to one day have my book adapted to screen. So I’m working a little bit on that right now with a couple of producers and production companies to have either a documentary or a part of my story adapted to screen. Hopefully one day I’ll be on Dancing With the Stars and do a little ribbon there. That’d be a dream. My mentor and someone I work with now, Robert Herjavec from Shark Tank for ten years, was on the show and did a little feature for his mom. That’s just something I’d like to do for my mom.